Tuesday, May 27, 2014

38 Weeks

How far along? 38 weeks

Weight gain? 38 lbs - Holding steady this week with no weight gain

Baby is the size of - a small pumpkin

Stretch marks? Still haven't spotted any!

Sleep? Sleep …. I only wish I could sleep.  Currently I'm running on 4 hours of uneasy sleep.

Miss anything?  Sleep and moving with ease

Cravings? Fruit mostly this week and Dr Pepper

Anything make you queasy or sick?  Nope, other than things prior mentioned

Symptoms? Insanely intense pelvic pain.  Getting up at night brings me close to tears it's so painful.  I look like a pokey old granny doing the two foot shuffle instead of walking when I have to get up at night.

Belly button - In or out? It's an outie and it's definitely not cute by any means!  Haha

Wedding rings - on or off? They are still off

Any movement? Jaxon is still trying his best to stretch my belly out to accommodate him better but it's not working.  Obviously, he's uncomfortable and so am I!

Happy or moody? I've not been a beaming ray of sunshine but I've not been a thundercloud either.

What emotions have you been experiencing this week?  This week I've been stressing over going back to work after Jaxon is here.  It's upsetting already, I know I'll have to do it but it doesn't mean that I have to like it.   

Looking forward to - Seeing John hold our son for the very first time.  I know it'll absolutely melt my heart a million times over.  Maybe this sounds a little selfish, but I'm also looking forward to not having to share my body with Jaxon; it's getting beyond painful.

Week 38 Fun Fact - Jaxon is still continuing to gain weight with each week.  At this point his head is about the same circumference as his abdomen.

Our hospital bags are packed, his room is finished and now, we wait…. We had another checkup this past Friday with McArthur.  We are now at the "full-term" mark.  Yay.  Strangely enough, I've stopped gaining weight even though Jaxon is continuing to gain weight weekly.  It's been a struggle with food lately because I know that I need to be eating a lot more than what I tend to do on most days but I feel so full already that I have no appetite or when I start eating I fill up after only a few bites.   I had contractions most of the night Thursday night but nothing that stayed consistent.  The OB checked me for dilation but I haven't dilated anymore than I had three weeks ago when I was at only a fingertip dilated.  Not the news we wanted to hear but on a positive note, it's looking like he's definitely going to be a June baby.  John would love to share his birthday week with Jaxon and it's looking like there's a very good chance of that.

This whole week I've been struggling a lot with the thoughts of having to go back to work after just a few short weeks after Jaxon's arrival.  It's been on my mind a lot and it's hard to put those thoughts on the back burner while I'm filling out FMLA forms and realizing just how quickly my time with him, being fully focused on him and not work, will be.  Growing up, I was never the girl that wanted kids (funny how things change).  A lot of that was due the the fact that I didn't want to be a working mom but always knew that times had changed from when I was born and most mom's work now.  Paying someone else to spend precious time with my child was something I didn't even want to think about, but now I have to think about it.  I know that being a full time stay at home mom is not in the cards currently but it doesn't make the idea settle any easier with me.  Lots of prayers are being said that when the time comes to go back, that I will know without a doubt that I'm doing the right thing and what's best for our family at the time.

 Yesterday was Memorial Day so we were both off from work.  It was a beautiful day to get out and enjoy the sunshine and our freedom but not forgetting those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom.  The North Buncombe High School Band set up a flag display of 600 flags.  They were absolutely gorgeous to see.  Flags could be purchased in memory of or in honor of our military veterans.  We purchased one for each of John's papaws as well as one for a fallen hero John had met during his time in Afghanistan.  My papaw already had one placed in the field for him but we made sure to find it.  In the picture of the two of us in front of the flags we are actually standing next to papaw Coy's flag.  It's hard thinking that Jaxon will grow up never knowing him, he was such an amazing person, but I'm sure I'll be telling him all about him over the years.

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